Anxiety and control go hand in hand. When anxiety creeps up on you, that’s basically your mind voicing that it feels out of the control.
So, simply put, if you can teach yourself how to take control of a situation, anxiety won’t be a problem.
That’s not to say it’s not going to be difficult
Learning to take control means completely throwing your old habits out of the window and then rewiring yourself to think like a confident person in control.
It might not sound like something you can do, but it’s possible for anyone so long as you’re ready to take on the challenge.
To start, you must find a new way of relating to a situation
If you feel anxious at some point it’s because you can’t relate to the situation you’re in.
The anxiety is you trying to gain an element of control, but of course that element of control is laced with fear which means avoidance or running away. And we don’t want that. You want to be facing it head on.
When you have that anxious feeling, divert your attention to something that you do have control over.
With your attention diverted, you create a space away from the anxiety and this will allow you to relate to the situation in a different way.
For example, if you are anxious whenever you have to order something in a cafe and this causes you to stumble. Remember that you have control over what you want, so, remind yourself of the decision you have made. “I want a latte and a BLT – that is my decision”. Now you have that element of control back.
This is an important step because the anxiety of thinking about ordering can take hold of you and deplete your self-confidence. You’ll then start to believe that you will never be able to do it.
When you’re in this mindset it can be difficult to even comprehend what you want to order from the cafe, this is when the element of control is gone.
Confidence is knowing what to do. Anxiety is preparing you to do it
Anxiety doesn’t want you to get it wrong, it just wants you to be sure of your decision.
When you’re sure of your decision, you can tackle that situation with more confidence. So then you know you are correct in saying “I would like a Latte and a BLT”
This can be applied to any anxious situation, whether it’s making a phone call to a stranger or having to do a presentation. Being sure in your own decisions is the key to knocking back anxiety.
Just use the anxiety to prepare and act on it.